BLOG UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd do almost anything for it ?
I have. And currently, the thing that I want most is to go to Parsons to study. It somehow seems that the world is against me for this.
Initially I was going to apply for spring 09(November) but they dont' offer foundation thn, and if you'd have to have 12 foundation credits if you want to...and in Malaysia to get 12 foundation credits in less thn a year it's kinda...impossible.
And I cant apply for Fall 09 (feb) because I don't have my spm results and I didn't have enough time to do a portfolio. Having spm kinda kills your inspiration.
So now all I'm left is applying for the Fall 10 (next year feb) application.
And it's not guaranteed that Im going to get in.
So If i do that, it's really a big risk. :
Now, another reason why parsons seems crazy, it's 5 yearss, one year being foundation obviously.
So, the fee's for parsons per year is about $50, 000
Which is about RM120, 000 ++per year
which becomes a total offff
RM120,000++ * 5 = RM600, 000++
And that's enough to do veterinary!
which I think is a little overpriced for arts school but I guess being the best arts school with a history of celebrity alumni...it's okay?
gahh
Idontknowanymore ):

Rules: take your answer to the question, and type it into urban dictionary, then post a definition for your answer.
Enjoy!!
www.urbandictionary.com
anyone who does this, pls write a note on tagboard, i'd love to know your answers (:

1.)Your name?
Honey

a hot mama, a girl who has everything. The looks, brains and has an aura- a girl who makes your heart race
"wow, she's gonna be a honey when she gets older"

2.)One of your friends?
Ivan

He is the sexiest man alive and really sweet and so fuking attractive!!!
totally fukable

3.)What should you be doing?
Sleeping

When u close your eyes and think of perverted things, which will never actually happen.
The man woke up from his sleep and realized that there werent seven women surrounding him.

4.)Favorite color?
Green

1) Marijuana 2) Money 3) the horny color 4) envious 5) the color
1) let's go smoke some green 2) look at the green of my bills 3) jane is wearing green.. she's horny! 4) bobby is green with envy. 5) grass is the color green!

5.)Birthplace?
Penang


One of the great mysteries of life, penang is the predominant (or soon to be predominant) term for a vagina. You know, a pussy. A meat taco. Poonany. Fill in what slang you will; it won't feel as satisfying as using "penang". Penang is more than just an anatomical fact. It is a way of life. Loved by almost all men on earth (and statistically 3 out of every 10 women), It has spawned books, plays, music, not to mention the entirety of creation. Seriously, penang is more accomplished than Martha Stewart post-indictment. Used most frequently in concert with the ever popular boba, when referring to other equally awesome parts of the female anatomy. May also be used as an expletive, but this should only occur when all other words fail to suffice in expressing your anger/shock/amazement/joy.
"My penang itches." "Why won't anyone love my penang?" "Daammn, will you look at the bobas on that girl! I'd like to rock her penang." Really, the possibilities are endless.

6.)Month of birth?
June

The month the hottest people in the world are born.
DAMN! i'm hot i was born in june!

8.) Last person you talked to?
Calvin

Also known as the Calvinator, this male is a good example of a hard-working overachiever. Past times include: tennis, girls, tennis, and girls.
Boy: I want to be a Calvin! Other boy: You shall never be like Calvin! There is only one! He is t3h pwn!

If I should die this very moment, I wouldn't fear, for I've never known completeness...

~moulin rouge

.

.

.

I Think
Sometimes I feel there's a hole inside me; an emptiness that at times seems to burn...it cant go away...and it wont. It's here to stay. To rip open; to tear further and more severe every time i get hurt. To remind me that I am but only human...

I can't believe that even in this modern day we are still facing discrimination. I really thought that hey maybe, just MAYBE that phase of the human race was over, that MAYBE we could all look at each other not as Indians, Malays, mamaks, Chinese, Muslim, christian and Hindu but as human beings. If you think about it, what makes you better than me? So you're tan and I'm fair- does that mean you're better? Or maybe you came across a fair person who was a fucking bitch from hell, does that mean that I am of the same kind? that I am a fucking bitch from hell? NO, because we are all individuals. We are each our own person with thoughts, rights and opinions. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO THINK ANY LESSER OF ME? Think about it, I have a heart, you have a heart. Cut me with a knife i bleed, stab you- you bleed! BIG SURPRISE. and if you're gonna discriminate the blood that flows in my veins, before you do, Its RED. the exact same colour of yours. I don't believe in god. I don't believe in faith. I don't think god exists because there's so much pain and suffering in the world which is really not needed- innocent children esp. People who don't deserve it. There is no god. There is only man. man who have made this world like this. and if there's this phony-baloney god la, why create religion ? why create colour? why create difference being the all-knowing-being that it would separate people when it is meant to unite! Why not make us all blue! hell, why even create gender! We could all just breed like unicellular organisms! I'm sorry if I offended anyone esp those who believe in God, please don't hate me- that's just my view. It's a touchy issue, I know. that's why i rarely bring it up.

I have been an object of discrimination left right and centre. It sometimes hurts so badly. I doubt many of you would understand. Being disliked just because someone assumed you Malay ( WHICH I AM FUCKING NOT! ) or someone thinks you're Indian. My mom told me when she was a kid she had no friends because she was mixed. She was neither a Chinese, an Indian or a Malay. Discrimination starts at home. If your parents do it, most likely you will too. What haven't I gone through, racial discrimination, gender discrimination AND religious discrimination. It's a very bad feeling being discriminated. You feel dirty. You feel disgusting. You feel worthless. You wonder what's wrong with you? but in reality that's not the right question, it's what's wrong with them. I understand if people want you to stay away from Indians because their supposedly "gangsters" or Malays because they'll "convert you" or Christians "because they believe in Christ". The reasons get more and more absurd. but it's their mindset, You cant blame them, but when is it going to stop? WHEN IS IT GOING TO STOP. it's not like everyone who's Indian is a gangster or chinks are all lala's. COMMON. I really hate this. I really hate this. Words cant even explain how much this irks me, TOTALLY PISSES ME OFF! to everyone who has ever discriminated, FUCK YOU, CHANGE YOUR MINDSET, GROW UP. If you want to hate someone, hate the whole fucking world- seriously. I am not a Malay, I am not a Chinese, I am not a christian, I am neither a man nor a woman, I am a human, respect me for who I am and not what i am supposed to be based on my gender, colour or religion. It is very simple. My religion is kindness. My race is equality. and my gender is insignificant.

Why do we seem destined to define ourselves with labels? Labels are mere words. If we want others to know what we are, why not show them? Show them through action. Actions still speak louder than words. I do not care if you are a Buddhist, a Muslim, a White, a Christian, a Hindu, a Black, a Jew, a follower of any countless other faiths, traditions, paths, colour, race or religions that are spread throughout this World.We are all one. One human family, one world, one universe. As the Dalai Lama says it, "All human beings come from a mother's womb. We are all the same part of one human family. We should have a clear realization of the oneness of all humanity." Only when we understand this, there would be no racism or religious discrimination or sexual discrimination.

Ive been doing alot of manips lately- it's really fun to do.



Anywyas I've been kind of twiddling over the thought of changhing my blogskin but I cant seem to fine any that I like so far, so I was thinking until I made my own, if Ichanged the image on the top it'd look better? or fresh ?







Well, here's the picture in mind.
le original


Le picture edite

Comments in the cbox much appreciated cz im two minds abt it. I cant decide.


Ps: and no it's not emo, and im not trying to be emo, i just got an idea to theme my blog "in silence I shall speak"

Wow, isn't it scary how time flies? It's new years eve. 2008 is ending. Everything that ended with an 08 will never repeat itself and will go into the halls of memories. Memories. Ah. How I wish we could remember everything exactly the way it was. Remembering every day, every touch, every scent and every colour. Picturing everything the exact way it was but alas that wasn't a gift given to us. But triggers can awaken those memories and we'll smile as we look back upon time- a melancholic smile. A smile that will bring back the bittersweet moments that have come and gone. It makes me think that as of this moment writing this, next year when I'm writing another one for the end of 09 I wont remember the exact way I'm feeling now. So much has happened this year... I finally have relief. I finally can breathe. Another volume in the Saga of Haneesha's life has been closed and now lies on the shelves of time (how's that for artistic?) and my new book starts on January 1 2009. I think somehow this year went by too fast. Feels like only yesterday I was walking into the Sri Pinang hall not knowing what to expect. I somehow rather think I missed out a lot because I was mostly home. I didn't soak up the year 2008. But I guess in a way because of that I found myself. I found who I am. I found me. I found Haneesha. I don't have to look in the mirror anymore and wonder why am i here? what's my purpose? who am I? I don't just see a blur, I see a real person- passionate, kind, smilish and, dare i say this, confident. I learnt that I don't need people to be happy and I'm perfectly fine being alone in deep thought. I don't give a shit about what people think of me and I really don't care because your opinion of me couldn't matter less to me. I found friends who don't think I'm a rich-arrogant-little-prat-who-shows-off-all-the-time-because-she-always-gets-what-she-wants-anyways and people who aren't gonna use me and befriend me because of me. My beloveds. I realised that if I fall I fall with grace. I am a ballerina, dancing on the stage of life. If I stumble, I get back up and pick up where I left of and dancing along to the beat. I don't need to change to be accepted by anyone, people need to change their perception on me. I can't please anyone and I don't intend to. I love myself- deal with it. I realised that you can't please everyone and someone out there is gonna hate you for no apparent reason and YES it will hurt and will stay on like a scar that can never heal but you learn to live with it. I realised that just because someone goes to an expensive school it doesn't mean that they're more mature. I learnt to let go, I learnt to forgive. I learnt that it's okay to be left out, it's fine to be the minority. I learnt that... this is me.

Reflections of me

I close my eyes

I see

How truly

I am meant to me

I cry a tear

A tear of relief

Because I finally realised

I found my bliss

-by honey, 31 Dec 2008-

Happy new year everyone (: